Monday, November 7, 2011

Unwholesome talk

Ephesians 4:29
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Paul charged the Ephesians that they should behave accordingly now that they are Christians. This is the last part of Chapter 4. 'Unwholesome talk' refers to anything that is not edifying, not building others up but tearing them down. How many times have I passed the opportunity to speak something edifying rather than spread a juicy gossip? Or a smart reply that hurts or humiliates? Or even sarcasm? This does not mean we flatter or compliment others all the time. Speak only what is helpful. Unwholesome talk would also include foul language, coarse jokes, lies and deceit,curses and etc because such communications spring from a corrupt heart. Get rid of bitterness, rage, anger, fighting with each other and all other forms of malice.

Instead we are to say something that builds others up. We are to encourage others, saying something that is helpful to them. I remember asking my class to write something positive about each of their classmates on a piece of paper. All these positive comments are compiled and given to each of the students to read what their classmates had said about them. You can see the positive effects of this exercise on the students. Some were not aware that they have so many positive qualities.


Proverbs 15:1 says 'A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.

I find this true in my daily communications with others. Sometimes hubby comes home tired and wants to unwind in front of the TV while I sulkingly prepare dinner. If I say a harsh word, I am definitely getting a harsh reply. If I ask nicely, help arrives rather quickly. When we are arguing, a harsh word only builds up the anger and we always end up saying things that we do not mean. Sometimes, knowing when to keep quiet is also helpful. When someone loses control, we need to back away instead of charging on with our case. No one is listening anymore.

THINK before speaking. I find this acronym rather helpful.

T - is it truthful?
H - is it helpful?
I - is it inspiring?
N - is it necessary?
K - is it kind?

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